The Bearded Dragon… Is it a Dragon?
Although there does exist a creature that is called "The Bearded Dragon", don't let this fool you, as it is not an actual dragon that has grown a beard in its old age. Contrary to the opinions of some fringe dragonologists, bearded dragons are not actual dragons at all. Again, with our rigorous, technical definition of what a dragon is, we will now evaluate objectively whether a bearded dragon is actually a dragon so that there are no unresolved doubts about the issue.
1. Is it a large lizard or serpent? Somewhat. It can grow up to 20 inches, and a bit longer in rare cases, but this is smaller than any full-human on record, and real dragons are usually larger than humans. Already its ability to pass the test of true dragonhood is questionable.
2. Does it have 4 legs, scales, a long tail, and large talons? Yes, except for large talons.
3. Can it breathe fire? Some fringe dragonologists believe that bearded dragons can and do breathe fire, but only when highly threatened or under a lot of duress. Here is an alleged picture of such an occasion or occurrence.
This photograph was highly controversial and caused a big stir within the worldwide community of dragonologists for some time after it was introduced, although we now suspect that it was fraudulent in nature. According to some dragonologists, bearded dragons (allegedly) only breathe fire when they are under stress. However, we also know that bearded dragons will also puff out their beards when they 'lose their cool' as it were. This dragon, if he is indeed breathing fire in this picture (as quack dragonologists would have us believe), would logically be under stress also, and we would deduce from this that, being under stress, he would also have inflated his beard, which he is clearly not doing. So much for their "evidence." (We suspect that state of the art graphic technology was used to create the above specimen.)
4. Can the bearded dragon fly? Negative. Bearded dragons do not have wings, nor do they possess any natural biological means to float, hover, and/or levitate. In fact, they are not even very graceful at landing when picked up and thrown during scientific experiments (I do not recommend trying this at home or anywhere for that matter - such experiments were conducted in the 70s, before animal protection protocols were widely implemented).
We can conclude from this highly objective assessment that bearded dragons are not real dragons. I am sorry.
VR
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